Romania

Thus it occurred to me, with, admittedly a little nudging (alright, alright) that despite the fact that it's the middle of Feb - feck me, how did that happen? - already, I still haven't shared my thoughts and movements from the New Year. In fairness, i had no intention of doing so, mostly because it was entirely without incident and will thus be boring as hell. But I have had the alleged error of my ways shown to me, and thus this is the result. It's a whopping 4 parter of sheer, unadulterated boredem.

I'll try all i can to dress this up and make it exciting but in fairness, if you want some excitement or enjoyment I'd strongly recommend doing a shot of heroin before you continue.

Hopefully you enjoyed that hit and now have a nice happy buzz feeling. Yes? Good. Without further a do, on with the drudgery. I spent a contented Christmas, in the office during the day getting stuff done without distractions, interspersed with out in the middle of nowhere

With a certain unexpected surprise, i managed not to kill the cats (although I was treated to an amazing performance of pest control by one, who in a 45minute spell managed to catch 6mice inside the house. It was a truly awesome display), burn down the house or write off the boss's car. Passed over the keys. Left work on time, had no complications at the hospital, made it to Kb on time, and an uneventful trip to Hamburg. Yup, that's right. In a twist you almost certainly wouldn't have predicted, I actually got away for New Years almost entirely as hoped. Scary, eh?

Things took a slight turn on the way to Wien with a strange Nigerian woman and my mobile phone, but no biggie. With time to spare, i even managed to make the almost inevitable pass through Sopron to deal with the guys there – even making progress, which for those that have any idea what the heck I'm talking about, will probably need to re-read that a dozen times or so, and will still think they are seeing things - and that was me finished for 2006. A quick nip into Budapest, bit of a wander in the cold, and then on to the night train. I wasn't even detained for long at the border, with it taking a mere 40minutes for them to be convinced that I wasn't a potential whatever it was they thought i was a potential threat for this time. I forget, although it could have been security issues. But with that, and only 25hours before joining the EU, I was given what will probably turn out to be my last ever Romanian passport stamp, and with that was on the way to Bucharesti.

For those that have enquired, No, we never did find the submarine.

I'm still looking though.

Ah Bucharesti. The sounds, the sights, the smells. I really love this city, I do. I spent a happy day wandering at random around the city, being chased by salivating (and in one case, 3 legged) dogs, trying to avoid being mowed down by crazed taxi drivers or stepping in dog sh1t, being stopped by police for looking shifty or fall down big holes in the roads and pavements, whilst catching up with a couple of acquiantances and visiting some favoured spots.

And then it was time for the main event. New Years in Romania are normally mad anyway, but this was a special one: Romania were joining the EU, and the Romanians were celebrating, and it was this reason why I had been planning to head to Bucharesti for New Year for a while. A few drinks in the hostel later, and a group of us had formed, and so 4 European based Americans, 3 German based Chilean girls [who I christened Esteban, Pablo and Carlos, for reasons which now elude me. It also explains why I became Lucretia, although that's a whole different story], 2 Austrian guys and – no, not a partridge in a pear tree – a Brit and an Italian, using a strange mix of Spanglish, Swedish [one of the Americans is studying here, and one of the Austrians was half Swedish] and German headed out to join ½ of the population on Bucharesti on the metro, before meeting the rest of them at the central University place.

It was actually really good fun. Enough enterprising locals were selling cans of beer and bottles of champagne to keep us constantly refreshed, the mood was great, and the government rolled out assorted dignitaries and foreign guests (drunk ambassadors, generally), big screen video displays and assorted fireworks and lazer shows, plus much music and warbling in Romanian. We cheered when everybody else did and drank the rest of the time. After an oddly quiet midnight – no actual countdown, or even proper countdown clock – one of the Austrians produced a box of cigars and we smoke and cheersed to the arriving Romanians.

Then it was a simple case of enjoying the next few hours. We wandered the central area around the live stages whilst drinking silly numbers of bottles of champagne and indulging greatly in the long held Romanian celebration of smashing empty bottles onto the street – literally walking over broken glass adds a certain extra spice to walking - and which the American girl showed a stunningly skilled ineptitude for, by managing to get the first dozen or so attempts to bounce...

With any large group of people in a large mostly drunk crowd, casualties are inevitable thus it was no surprise that shortly after somehow bumping into the only other person in the city that we all knew, we lost one (collateral damage – one Austrian, who after loosing us managed to also get his camera stolen). It's also mostly inevitable that at some point, authorities will be involved, and so it proved when the same American had by now brilliantly gotten the knack of bottle smashing, which after a good successful run was discovered to be to the distress of certain members of the police, (although she managed to avoid trouble by pretending to only speak Spanish). At the urging of the Italian, we then walked in a strange and illogical loop in the “cold” for a while in order to try and find somewhere we could get into, and then a club he'd previously been to. On New Years morning, this was never likely to end in success, at least not at an affordable price. And so it proved. By 4am or so, and with half the group supposed to be on trains out of the city within a few hours, we decided to call it quits and head back.

(apologies for poor photos, my camera is now officially kaput, and i was using a dodgy phone camera)

A slight problem which had been mutually discovered earlier was that I was the only one who had the slightest idea where the heck we were, and where we needed to get back to. No great problem for me, I must admit. Until we finally gave up trying to get into the last club, and started to head back. I then performed the cunning trick of walking about 25metres, turning right and a 100m or so down the road, before turning around to discover that I was the only one there.

Now, i still struggle to understand how this is possible, but if 10 people are following one person, it shouldn't be possible for everybody else to have lost that person within the first 200m. Maybe loose somebody else, sure, but the guy that knows where's he's going? That's just plain careless. This isn't the first time that it's happened either. A few years back, I managed the not unimpressive trick of loosing an entire TT pissup group who were also supposed to be following me. And there have probably been other occassions as well. I don't actually know how the heck I do it, but it's a fairly impressive skill. I periodically wish that I wasn't always too stupid to take advantage of these things. I should have just said “sod it”, gone for a beer, and then headed home. Instead, after laughing for a minute, i headed back to try and find them. But of course, they'd taken a turn of their own and were nowhere to be found. It took a good 25mins, and apparently some panicking on their behalf before I managed to find them again. Ah well. Thus it was that we began the long trek home, hampered slightly by the fact that whilst I knew a way back, it wasn't the shortest way back (and with 10 folks being led pied piper style, it wasn't the time to guess).

It was only ¾ of the way back when we stopped for swift pint (read: one the Americans fell asleep) that the Italian suddenly remembered , and produced a map before starting to complain we were going a long way round. Why me?

New Years resolutions are an interesting concept. Everybody puts great store in them, yet probably 80% of them don't last a week, and most of the rest not more than a month. Many of them don't last simply because they get rid of the fun stuff – no more drinking, smoking, pizzas or whatever – which is bound to end in failure sooner or later. I don't do that kind of resolution. Thus, Six weeks or so into 2007, and I'm proud to announce that I'm still on target with all of mine. Admittedly that shouldn't be too hard, but I've never actually managed it yet. I've got a new one, although that's not yet for public consumption, and i won't know if I've fully keep it or not until the end of the year. But, i've naturally also gone with the same trio as I normal do – I resolve that in 2007, I won't get arrested, shot at or deported. Easy, right? Well, I can't remember how long I've had the same resolution – 10 years at a guess? - but I've not yet managed it. Actually, I've never even managed to keep two thirds of it.

This year will be different.

It really will.

Honest.

Please?